More Water & Vaginal Weightlifting

First off, I made a salmon salad for lunch… who am I? *recipe at bottom of entry

Now, I am discussing vaginal weightlifting in a group chat with my homegirlz.

Quick vocab lesson that I hope everyone already knows: Kegel exercises are repetitive contractions of the pelvic muscles that control the flow in urination in order to strengthen these muscles especially to control or prevent incontinence.

Women can feel their kegels in use as they stop themselves from peeing when they are at a concert or football game and have to wait in a godforsaken bathroom line that laps around the stadium. You can flex and release them just like you can your arms or abs.

It really does make sense… if we work out most all the other muscles in our body, why wouldn’t we workout our vagina muscles? Extreme kegel strength is a thing and vaginal weightlifting is a real. Kegel strength- or lack thereof- is serious shit, folks. (Youtube that ish; Stay educated)

Fun fact: One of the strongest vaginas in the world belongs to a 40 year old Russian mom who has been training her vagina for 20+ years. She lifted 31 pounds in 2009. Does that scare anyone as much as it scares me? Impressive, though. You Go Girl.

~ smooth transition into an unrelated topic ~

I am drinking at least 3 liters of water a day now. I bought one of those giant, dorky, Ozarka “Easy Pour” 3 liter bottles. I made it a goal to drink half of it, so 1.5 liters, by noon. I’m on day 5 - goin’ strong. Water makes me feel so much better. It helps your skin, your hair, your mood, and your weight loss. You even get more steps in when you go to refill your bottle or sprint the restroom. Thank God we have kegels. <Insert thumbs up emoji>

I have realized that simple things are the only way I can do this. I bought that $1.80 3 Liter water bottle and all I have to do is drink 1 bottle a day. It is so simple. It is a ton of water compared to what I used to drink but it is the LEAST amount I am supposed to have.

I have tried everything. Slimfast, weight watchers, advocare, calorie counting, low carb, gluten-free, 21 day challenge - you name It. But, it is ALL too complicated. Not for the average human… it is just colors and boxes and numbers and should be simple. BUT I am slightly ADHD and ALWAYS doing at least 3 things at once while not focusing on any of them, so adding colored boxes, numbers, a shake and Facebook updates was just not my thing. 1 (giant) bottle of water. Less carbs. Less crap. That is my “diet” right now. And I can handle that.

HONEY GARLIC SALMON SALAD (recipe for 1 because I am single as shit ok)

Ingredients:

1/8 cup (or 2 tbsp) light soy sauce

1/8 cup (or 2 tbsp) honey (or pure maple syrup)

1 clove minced garlic (I love garlic so use caution if you don’t)

1 salmon fillet (or 2 if you want to prep ahead)

Foil and baking dish

Instructions:

Heat oven to 350. Chop up garlic clove into tiny pieces (or use already minced garlic). Whisk garlic, honey, and soy sauce together. Lay Salmon fillet on Aluminum foil sheet in baking dish. Pour mixture on salmon (some like to put the fillet in a bag in the fridge to marinate for an hour but ain’t nobody got time for that) Wrap salmon in foil, still in the baking dish. Place dish in oven. For 10-15 mins.

Put on Salad. (I like spring mix with balsamic vinaigrette, red onions, and a little feta cheese)

Or just eat salmon while also eating a salad - whatever floats your dead fish.